I should be packing.  I should also be cleaning.  I am tired and exhausted from all that this move is entailing.  I am up and I am down.  I haven't been very sad much but I keep waiting for the ball to drop, like maybe I am going to lose it and freak out and be so sad I can't stand it.  How can I leave everything I know and move?!  I can't.  Well, I can't alone.  But I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me... and I am actually doing it.  I am actually selling the family home and leaving the home town and security of my family for a paycut and a smaller house in a city.  I am baffled.  God's ways are not our ways.  I am coming to realize that the end result is not what God is concerned with.  It is the process that is most important to Him.  This is a tough process, but I know that I'll be more like Him for it.  And I will be closer to Crystal, which fills me w/ joy.