Always Be My Home

Your heart will always be my home
No matter where I go
No matter what may come
You'll be my Shelter in the storm
A Harbor safe and sound
Where only true forgiveness can be found

But still...I wanna run away
And go it all alone
When will I ever learn from my mistakes?

And I can't live without Your love
'Cause Your eyes have seen beyond the things I'm guilty of
I won't be afraid to turn back down the road
'Cause Your heart will always be my home

And when I've cried a thousand tears
You've always wiped them dry
And watched me as I spread my winds and fly
To a place where holiness begins
And mercy never ends
And I will find my freedom once again

But still (but still)
I wanna run away (run away)
And go it all alone (and go alone)
When will I ever learn from my mistakes?

And I can't live without Your love
'Cause Your eyes have seen beyond the things I'm guilty of
I won't be afraid to turn back down the road
'Cause Your heart will always be my home

Your hands are always open
To catch me when I fall
I feel a million miles away
But that's no distance at all

Chorus

-Rachel Lampa

Psalm 23:6

"Surely goodness, mercy and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life, and through the length of my days the house of the Lord shall be my dwelling place."

I chose this song because it made an impact in my life. We all go through a time when there is so much going in our lives presently, that we just wanna give up. We just wanna throw our hands in the air in desperation and say "What now Lord! I pray, I seek you, I read your word and still these troubles overwhelm me! Still I am facing that same giant, I don't have the strength to fight anymore....is it worth even fighting for? I try to do what's right, and end up doing what's wrong. I try to avoid conflict and I mess that up too! Why do you even bother with me? I don't think I could ever be that woman of annointing and authority you called me to be cuz I feel anything but annointed right now."             Sound familiar? Are these words similar to what you have cried out to the Lord in desperation? Woman, Man, young one, teenager, child, young adult, whatever your age, race, location, we all go through these things. It is part of life.

These words I cried out to the Lord wednesday morning as I prayed. In my heart I was I deeply troubled. I felt insecure, worried, hurt, dissappointed and a bunch of other things that I could write. I continued in meditation and played worship throughout my day,knowing that God was with me, but not quite feeling better yet.  He understood me completely. I am pretty sure He felt the same way right before He was crucified, overwhelmed, as He prayed to the Father in His desperation, nonetheless decided to obey the Father. The only difference was that Jesus was perfect, there was no sin in Him, he was guiltless. He didn't let His emotions get in the way, the way we do. If we don't feel like doing something we don't do when we know very well it's something we should be doing, you get me? 

I played this song on my computer as I put together some clothes to wash, and as I meditated on the words the tears flowed down my face, just as they do now as I think about it,lol. I wasn't depressed, but they were tears of gratitude, tears of love, tears of thankfulness, of joy and sadness at the same time, of hope, of a certainty deep down inside my spirit that I would finish the race but at the same time fearing I would'nt. All these emotions were surging through me, but then I couldn't help but think about: 

- How often and how much I fail God, but yet, when I wake in the mornings to pray how His love surrounds me.

-How as soon as I open my mouth to say "Good morning Holy Spirit" I can feel His joy as if He were just waiting for me to acknowledge His presence.

-I thought of all the times I've cried in His arms, including that morning, and His love and mercy fill my heart with hope that everything is in control.

-Times of fear when He has reassured me that nothing will harm me for He is by my side.

-Times when I've doubted in whether or not I will make it, whether my goals will be accomplished, He's uplifted me through HIs word.

-Even when He allows me to be disciplined for an error I have committed, instead of feeling guilty, I feel loved that He would take the time to show me my error and help me get right back on my feet.

-When I've fallen, and no one has known and by this I don't necessarily mean sexual sin, but we sin in our minds and in our hearts and with our disobedience too. When my heart hurt so bad it felt like it could break, He was always there to forgive and heal.

Brethren I tell you these things to encourage you. We all go through our own trials, some we may say are greater than others, nonetheless it is our trial and part of our journey. How sweet it is to know that we  have a friend, a Comforter, a healer, a Father, a Brother, and Intercessor (Jesus),  a home in HIs presence, and best of all a Savior. We are never alone. I am never alone. And though I may be going through my desert, through my valley, I shall lean on my Rock and He sustains me. I put my faith in Him who has called me. He will carry me when I can't walk anymore and He will lead me every step of the way.

The world offers false comforts, and the arms of a man will only comfort me conditionally, they too will betray me, but Jesus is faithful, even when I'm not. The seemingly free life the world boasts about is a false, been there done that. Christ has made me free! Thats why even though I go through my trials, so long as I have breath and God is my strength, I will not turn back, there is no way to go but forward.

I encourage you to let Jesus' heart be your home. Abide in the shadow of the Father's wings so the heat of the sun (trials) will not burn you. Let the comfort of the Holy Spirit fill you with peace daily. Don't give up.....your journey may be a long one, but worthwhile is the prize for it will be eternal but these trials are just temporary! Read the word, pray, let this be your refuge and not friends, alcohol, drugs, food, t.v., music, whatever your outlet is, let it be the presence of the Almighty!

Stay blessed! I love you all!

Sol <3