At the risk of sounding too overly pleased with myself, “I’m da man!” I recently made a giant step in the journey of adulthood. Not only adulthood, some may even say manhood. All right, maybe just me. My wife has noticed a new confidence in my gait, my children gaze upon their father with renewed admiration, which is a refreshing change from the more frequent look of, “You’re kidding, right?” In fact, I am somewhat expecting a call from my father to pour out his praises upon me regarding this most recent accomplish-

ment. Even now, my eyes mist over as I struggle to complete this piece. Dear readers, I am pleased to inform you that I, with help from no manual, installed a radio in my

truck.

I will remain the humble man I like to believe I have always been. I realize this makes me no better than the average Joe who lacks this aptitude for the electrical. In fact, my new desire is to share my gift by educating others. Maybe a series of manuals, or a video series. I believe I may need to get professional representation for these inevitable endeavors.

I purchased this radio from a well-known supplier. The salesperson realized he was not dealing with the run of the mill, uninformed, consumer from the moment I asked to be shown “One of those box-shaped, musical thingies for my truck.” He was so intimidated by my expertise that he turned his head and cupped his hand over his mouth in an obvious attempt to hide his sense of awe.

As I sat in the truck, screwdriver in one hand and a wire cutting- type tool of a thing in the other, I began the installation process with the precision and skill of a neurosurgeon.

I peered into the hole of the dashboard where I would perform this surgery. Wires. “This is good”, I thought. “I will probably need some of those”. Looking at the back of the radio, I saw wires there as well. It was too simple, too effortless. This, I could do in my sleep. Four wires in the dash, four wires on the radio.

As I connected these wires together using masking tape and paperclips, I could not help but notice the craftsmanship of the unit. The manufacturer even made each wire a different color. Obviously, they were even concerned with the back of the radio being attractive so in keeping with the “avant-garde” motif, I connected each wire to a wire of a different color, giving the installation an Andy Warhol kind of feel.

Installing this radio may have been the most self-satisfying project I had ever undertaken.

The most rewarding fourteen hours I ever spent on my self worth and esteem. I haven’t actually turned the power on yet, as I am inviting all of my friends and relatives over for the occasion. It should be an unforgettable moment for me, as well as my wife. I only wish General Motors had the same attention to quality in their product. For no apparent reason, when I turn my wipers on, the horn blasts, scattering the neighborhood children like cockroaches exposed by the sudden burst of light. Speaking of lights, when I click to high beam, washer fluid shoots straight over the windshield into the bed of the truck and when I turn the heater on, the dome light starts flashing Morse code. It appears my talents are required once again.